“I want you to know…”: An Open Letter to Myself

Hi friend,

How are you? Aside from all the niceties, REALLY how are you? You look tired. I know that you’re sick of hearing that, because obviously you’re tired. I know you get frustrated that you can’t do it all; that you aren’t the perfect mom; that you don’t have it all figured out yet. But there are a few things I’ve been meaning to tell you and I think it will be easier if I put it all down on paper.

I want you to know that you don’t have to do it all. I know that you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and that everything needs to be perfect all.the.time. That if it isn’t perfect, you’re failing as a wife and as a mother. I know it’s hard, but it’s okay to let things slide once in awhile. It’s okay to ask for help. If you let go of just a little bit of control, I promise everyone will survive. No one is expecting you to have it all together all the time.

I want you to know that you’re not alone. Motherhood is a strange beast. It can bring you overwhelming community and deafening silence. I know that it can feel like no one really understands, but how will you know if you never try? I’ve learned that adult friendships are often masked with a veil of falsehood. No one wants to admit their struggles or hardships. There’s this unspoken fear of looking “less than”. I want you to know that we’re ALL “less than”. No matter how it looks on social media, some days are picture perfect and you never want them to end… and others, well the others are filled with watching the clock until it’s an “appropriate” time to pour a glass of wine. That’s NORMAL. That’s REAL. Allow yourself some grace; you’re doing a great job.

I want you to know that I love you, despite how many times I might say otherwise. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The world is hard on you enough, so why be that way on yourself? Sometimes you can be your own worst enemy. You might not have the perfect body and your nails might be chipping 99% of the time, but those things don’t define you. Remember that every imperfection, every dimple, every out-of-place hair makes you unique and tells your story. Your story is important. Let it shine.

I hope you know that I’m proud of you. I know that your days are long, busy, and often stressful. You worked tirelessly, often with little thanks. You’ve worked hard to get to where you’re at. Those degrees that sit unused on the shelf? I promise they’ll be worth it– someday. It’s hard to not know exactly where you are or where you’re going. For now, I want you to take some time for you. Be present in the moment. Give yourself grace. Live more “hands free” and free-range. Your life isn’t perfect, but it’s not supposed to be.

You’re exactly you and that’s just perfect.

Love you always,

me

 

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